Okay, today’s blog is going to go a little differently than usual because I woke up to find a tweet on my feed shaming writers for watching television from a privileged white man who has been consistently interacting with my page for literal years now. I’m irrationally angry. So, I’m writing an angry post.
Here’s a list of things that are more important than getting your words in today:
Rest
Rest is the number one reason why most people don’t meet their writing goals, and honestly, it’s a legitimate reason. I don’t know why people get so bent up about television being a waste of time. It isn’t. It’s rest. Writing is labor. Hobbies are labor. They require work. We have twenty-four hours a day. Sixteen of those are basically stolen from you. You deserve an hour or two of rest in the remaining eight. That’s just human dignity.
Relationships
Fostering good relationships requires the same amount of intentionality as writing. And they require maintenance at every level from housemates to family to friends to acquaintances. It takes a lot of work. And it’s largely labor that gets directed as a woman’s duty in the home.
It’s also scientifically proven that people with less human connection suffer because of it. If you don’t take the time to care for your relationships, you’ll atrophy in all aspects of your life including your writing. So, take the time to take care of yourself and those you love. It’s damn worth it.
Financial Security
Writing is labor that fills your heart and makes you feel self-actualized, but it’s not going to pay your bills most likely. Anyone who goes into writing for the money has a lot of learning to do. While it isn’t impossible to earn a full-time income from writing, it’s highly unlikely.
But I don’t think anyone is fighting me that creating financial security is more worthy of your time than creative pursuits. But I put it on this list to beg the question why this is the only way we spend time that no one undervalues? Everything on this list is necessary and important and valuable and we never fit it all in, but we always fit this one. It’s kind of grotesque.
Joy Seeking
Yes. It’s great to have long-term goals. Good on you for including delay of gratification into your stratosphere of priorities. But also, this life is damn hard. So give yourself something joyous regularly.
The Health and Wellbeing of Yourself and Others
Taking care of yourself and loved ones carries about as many guilts as anything on this list. There are a million shoulds for this sector. You should exercise at least three times a week. You should never eat manufactured, “fast” foods. You should visit the doctor once a year and the dentist twice a year and your OBGYN once every two years. You should take a vitamin every day. No, you should meal plan so you get enough vitamins in your diet. Actually, you should take a vitamin each morning and a different one each evening because it helps absorption. It’s too much, but still, it’s pretty necessary. Your body is everything, and your health is your wealth. Don’t feel guilty if it gets in the way of writing.
A Sense of Self Worth
Writing a book sits at the very top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. That is, it’s the least important need and actually only serves to actualize yourself. So, if whatever part you’re on isn’t contributing to your sense of self-worth, then you’re just torturing yourself. Go do something that makes you feel good.
A Cultivation of Kindness
This one encompasses a lot when it comes to being a better person. Being a more empathetic, good-listening, kind, self-supporting, anti-racist, patient person takes a lot of work and time. It’s invisible labor. Some of these things are probably natural and easy for you, but I’ll bet there are others that you’re wishing you were better at. Sometimes those things are more important and deserving of your time than writing, especially if you’ve messed up recently.
Your Own Safety
If you don’t feel safe, you’re not going to be able to write, and this looks like more than locking a door between you and a threat. Being in an environment where you don’t feel safe and comfortable will slowly eat at your energy because you constantly need to be at guard. You can’t use that energy to write! So, find a way to make yourself safe first.
Literally Anything You Want More Than Writing
No one should be telling you how to spend your time. If you’re writing a book and on my website, it’s pretty likely that you’re an adult. And even if you aren’t an adult, you’ve gotten through this article this far. You may as well be one, which means you’re the master of your own time. Do what’s best for you, and don’t let anyone talk you into feeling guilty for it taking too long.
If you’re needing to re-sort your priorities, then go for it, but there’s no shame in it. It happens to all of us. But if you’re prioritizing other things, that’s just fine. It doesn’t make you any less of a writer. If you find you need help getting back on track, working with a book coach can be a good option. But there’s nothing wrong with following your gut.
Okay, cool. I’m glad I got that out of my system. Don’t worry. I blocked him.
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