When writing a query letter, you should consider it similarly to how you would a resume when applying for a job. It’s got a lot of the key highlights and gets a good bit of information across very quickly, but there are still big parts of your story that won’t make it on the page.
The pressure of this document can cause a lot of authors to feel the need to info dump their prospective agents, but it’s all about picking the right info to include in your query. So, that’s why we’ve started this series for beginners in how to write a good query letter. Come back each month for a deep dive on each section of your query letter.
Our first section is also the first thing on your query letter: the initial pitch! Just like your first page, this needs to hook an agent to want to learn more about your story. In this case, that means having the essential data they need while piquing their interest. Here’s how:
Part One: Meeting Metadata Checkpoints
Just like a resume, your query letter will go through a virtual scanner that will categorize your story and draw out important data before it ever gets seen by an agent. This allows them to quickly recognize stories that meet their needs at a given time. So, it’s vitally important you include each piece right at the top. Here’s what they are:
The Word Count
Does your word count meet industry standards for your selected age range and genre? This is going to be the first thing that agents check before moving forward to read your sample pages. While sitting outside of these ranges won’t automatically preclude you from most agents’ lists, it will serve as a strike against you that could add up to a rejection.
The Genre
Does the agent represent your book’s genre? They’ll want to know right away. It’s okay if your story plays with multiple genres. Just make sure to indicate a primary and subgenre status for each. What is harder are stories that fall between genres. For many agents, this can be a sign that your story isn’t developed enough yet.
The Age Range
What is the story’s target market, and does this agent have connections to it? Appropriate age categories are dictated by a myriad of influences: length, main character age, subject matter, reading level, and more. Though none alone preclude your story from an age range, it’s good to have the standards in mind. Anyway, most authors have a clear sense of this category from the outset. Go with your gut.
Stand Alone
No matter how you imagine your story, it’s vitally important as a debut author to include the phrase “stand alone” in your initial pitch. If you have some great ideas to expand to a series, include the additional phrase “with series potential.” But you don’t want to pitch the idea of having two or more books written. This can be daunting to agents, who will need to try to sell multiple books from a debut author rather than one. Don’t count yourself out just because you have big plans!
Part Two: Piquing Story Interest
Your initial pitch is the first thing an agent is going to read about your manuscript. So, while the first portion of our pitch suggestions are tailored to the nuts and bolts of the story, this section is all about building interest right away. Here’s what to include to keep an agent on board:
The Main Character
Who is the primary focus of your narrative? Mention them by name. If you’ve got multiple points of view, either try to narrow it down to one or use a short phrase that encompasses them all like “an unlikely group of friends.” And be sure to include their age if you’re pitching for middle grade, young adult, new adult, or picture books. That’s the vast majority of us, right? Haha.
The Situation
A story begins when the normal becomes abnormal. But before you can give them insight into what changes, first include a brief description of where your main character finds themselves at the beginning of the narrative. A notable addition may be the world they occupy, their occupation, or how they were spending their day in your opening chapter.
The Inciting Incident
Everything is normal for your main character until something unexpected happens that changes the course of their story forever. What is it? And what do they have to do to when it does? This is the perfect transition to your last point…
The Stakes
There are two questions you have to answer that will transition your agent to devour your synopsis and a request for your first pages. What could happen if your character loses or wins? What thematic plot element do they have to contend with? This should be from the point of view of your character based upon what they know at the end of the first act. Be sure to pique interest without giving away spoilers!
Part Three: Putting it All Together
The initial pitch of your manuscript, when baked together, should be short, intriguing, and to-the-point. Ideally, once you pull out age and genre hashtags, you should be left with something approximately the length of a tweet for you to reuse for a pitch party.
Even though we’ve put everything you need in this blog post, it’s all a little jumbled up. So, we’ve put together a mad-libs-style initial pitch to inspire your own. Or blatantly steal it. We really don’t mind.
Initial Pitch Sample
My book, [title], is a [word count] stand alone [age range] [genre] [with series potential] in which [main character], a [age] [situation], is [situation] until [inciting incident]. When [first act plot point], [main character] must decide whether to [X] or [X] in order to [stakes].
Examples
We all know The Great Gatsby, right? Here’s what an initial pitch could have sounded like for it:
My book, The Great Gatsby, is a 50,000-word stand alone adult literary fiction piece in which Nick, a young man recently moved to New York from the Midwest, is trying to make it as an investment banker when he discovers his cousin is unhappy in her marriage. When his neighbor throws an elaborate party to impress her, Nick must decide whether his family values or a pursuit of success and happiness will solidify his social standing.
Here's another pitch for a more recent work of fiction, The Fault in Our Stars:
My book, The Fault in Our Stars, is a 65,000-word stand alone young adult romance piece in which Hazel, a 16-year-old girl in Indianapolis, is navigating the complications of being a teenager with cancer when she meets Gus, a teen sarcoma survivor in her support group. When he offers to bring her to meet her favorite author, Hazel must decide whether to live the careful life set out by her doctors or risk it all for the opportunity of her possibly short lifetime.
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