In case you don’t know, the passive voice is a sentence structure in which the object of an action is given the focus of attention over the subject taking action. For example:
Passive: The child was dressed in a yellow frock. Active: Jeannine dressed the child in a yellow frock.
There are exceptions to this phenomenon being acceptable (see below). In fact, there are whole industries in which the passive voice is a requirement to being published. However, there are very few that work functionally in a novel. It takes more space and is less clear to readers. That’s why we’re here to help you notice and correct your passive voice tendencies:
Pick a New Verb
Am, is, was, were, will be. They’re all accomplices in the passive voice. It makes passive voice easy to spot and almost as easy to change. Just look at the sentence and think of a more specific verb to use. Or, in some cases, you can just delete the to be from the sentence:
Passive: Lady Macbeth was the most unhinged character in Macbeth.
Active: Lady Macbeth stood out as the most unhinged character in Macbeth.
Active: Lady Macbeth, the most unhinged character in the play, frightened me.
Passive: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
Active: The stockings hung by the chimney with care.
Remove Gerunds (ing)
This is a cousin to removing the verb “to be” in passive sentences, as it often accompanies gerunds, or verbs ending in “ing”:
Passive: The boy was studying for his test.
Active: The boy studied for his test.
Keep Your Actor at the Beginning
If the person taking action is mentioned at the beginning of your sentence, it is much more difficult to write a passive sentence:
Passive: The glass of water was left on the table by Mark.
Active: Mark left the glass of water on the table.
Not only does it make the sentence sound less cryptic, it shortens and simplifies the reader experience.
Know the Exceptions
Occasionally, the passive voice is the right choice when you’re wanting to put emphasis on a particular person or object being acted upon because it is more important than the doer:
Example: JFK was assassinated.
In this case, the fact that JFK was killed is far more important than the person who killed him.
Exceptions for gerunds can also be made in the case of interruption:
Example: The boy was studying when the phone rang.
The use of the passive voice here gives a clear sequence of events that were cut short by an interruption. Though this can be a crutch for many writers that results in overuse of the passive voice. So, tread carefully. Here’s an example of an unacceptable use of the passive voice even though it appears to be an interruption:
Passive: The boy was swimming away quickly when the current pulled his sister under the surface.
Active: The boy swam away quickly, but the current pulled his sister under the surface.
The boy and his sister are two different actors, and as such, their fates aren’t tied in a way that justifies the interruption exception. Though there are times that using the passive voice is acceptable, it should be avoided overall to improve your reader's connection to characters.
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